I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
