Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
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