I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
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