update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
