i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You took a bar mat shot.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
