It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
