I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
