i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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