Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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