I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
