Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
