i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Four minutes until I can fart!
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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