I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm too high and old for this...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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