the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
