Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
