She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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