i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
