dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
