Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
