She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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