dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
