Only a mothe r could love this liver
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
