My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
