thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
