Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
