oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
