You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
