i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
