I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
