**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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