I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
