i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
