when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
