I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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