Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
