I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
