i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just googled if crying burns calories
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
