my mouth tastes like poor choices
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
