I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize
