Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
