but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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