The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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