i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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