new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
