Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
