Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
