It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
