I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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