i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
