i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
