Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
