you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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