3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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