I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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