you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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