I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
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